5 Tips for Intended Parents’ First Surrogacy Consultation
Make sure you’re ready for the first meeting!
At Alcea, we pride ourselves on changing the way people think about surrogacy. From our emphasis on diversity, inclusion, and accessibility to our pricing structure and communication---we strive to make this journey as comfortable and joyful as possible. We know that so many Intended Parents come into this process feeling vulnerable or a little overwhelmed at all of the information that seems to accompany the process. We compiled a list of our top Dos and Don'ts for Intended Parents as they approach that first consultation.
#1 Do Prepare
Intended Parents should come to the consultation with some general understanding of what they are looking for. This preparation can take a variety of forms. One way Intended Parents might prepare is by looking through the Alcea website. There, they can find a number of resources, answers to many questions and general information that can help to color in some of the grey areas Intended Parents might have when starting their surrogacy journey. Taking the time to review this information can help the conversation along and will allow Intended Parents and the Alcea team more time to address other questions or concerns that Intended Parents might have. Intended Parents might also come prepared with a list of goals they might have for this meeting. Perhaps the goal is to have a baby as soon as possible. Maybe the goal is to learn more information before you get started on your journey. Whatever that may be, having these goals is a great way to orient yourself and open the door to your journey.
#2 Do Ask Questions
Similarly, our second “DO” might require a little preparation. Intended Parents should consider putting together a small list of questions that they might have about surrogacy. These could be questions about pricing, timelines, criteria for the surrogates themselves, etc. Coming to the meeting with a handful of questions you know you want to ask can be extremely useful. This can be an emotional and vulnerable process for Intended Parents and it is not unusual for the initial meeting--full of hope and a little fear--to become about the Agency learning just as much about the Intended Parents as they learn about the Agency.
Coming with questions ensures you are able to ask the ones most important to you at that moment and can help you to organize your thoughts in an otherwise emotional time. However, Intended Parents should not be afraid to ask questions they didn’t originally have as well. Certainly, as Intended Parents learn more about Alcea, our team, our process, and our values--questions might arise that aren’t simply restricted to pricing or timeline--and that’s okay! This is a process dependent on communication and trust and the only way to build that is to ask questions and answer honestly. So please ask away!
#3 Don’t Rush the Process
You’re anxious, excited, and hopeful. Maybe your journey to family-building has been long and somewhat disappointing, or maybe you are just getting started. Either way, it is so important to remember that the surrogacy journey is one with many different moving parts. The initial consultation is just the first step. Use the first meeting with Alcea to address bigger-picture things but manage your expectations! Don’t forget that this is a journey and, while the timeline can be more urgent for some, each step---and the time it takes to complete it---is crucial.
#4 Don’t Get Too Overwhelmed
This is undoubtedly an overwhelming process. Don’t be afraid to speak to your discomfort or anxiety as you enter into this journey. We know there is a ton of information and so much can blur together! Whether you have questions or not, it’s important to let us know when you’ve been given too much information. For the most part, the initial meeting can be relatively light, but if you are entering into this journey as a first-time Intended Parent, you might find yourself lost with the amount of medical, legal, and financial information involved. That’s okay! This first meeting doesn’t have to be an information overload, and we are here to give you the information you need along the way in the most digestible way possible. Lean on us!
#5 Do Remain Open
As you embark on this journey, remember to allow yourself to remain as open as possible. There are so many incredible surrogates out there who are excited to help you build your family. In this first consultation, try and avoid coming with a long list of must-haves and requirements for your surrogate. Perhaps you start this journey with a few thoughts about what your surrogate might be like but don’t forget that there are a wide array of surrogates with different dreams, lifestyles, goals, and experiences---and any one of them could be perfect for you. Use this first meeting to lay the foundation for your journey and remain open to all the possibilities that could come with it!
The first meeting between Alcea and an Intended Parent will serve as the stepping stone to your future. We want to make your surrogacy journey as smooth, supportive, and successful as possible. We want to answer your questions, address your concerns, and learn more about you! Schedule your first consultation with the Alcea team, and let’s get started on expanding your family.
