The Voice of a Black Egg Donor
This is the second story in our Pass the Mic blog series featuring the voices of Black women who are part of the infertility community. Join us as we #passthemic, and please pass their stories on if you wish to share. Together, we can amplify these voices, vocalize and normalize infertility journeys in all communities and help bring people together.
The beginning
Growing up, I can remember my mom keeping a picture hanging in our living room. She kept the picture at each house we moved to. It was a painting of a beautiful African American family with two daughters. I always admired the painting because of how joyful they all looked. I saw this picture every day for years, and one day I realized that my own life resembled that of the painting.
That’s when I decided I wanted a family when I grew up, a happy family like that. Many people have this same dream, to grow up and have a happy, healthy family. It’s like the American dream. I can only imagine the pain and multitude of emotions couples and individuals face when they are unable to conceive.
I was made aware of egg donations by a close friend of mine while I was still in college. She suggested that I would be a good candidate. At the time, it didn’t sound like something I was interested in, but after doing some research, my thoughts changed. I felt that being an egg donor was a very serious decision to make and that it could definitely be a way for me to help a family or an individual bring life into the world. At the time I already had a child, so I was aware of the joy and love of being a parent.
The heart behind my decision
The decision to seek a donor usually comes after unsuccessful attempts at conceiving. That’s usually when IVF and egg donors are considered. While most individuals want their children to share at least some similar characteristics or traits with them, sometimes it’s not easy to find a match. You can see firsthand the limitations in donor diversity by conducting a quick search on any cryobank site. Many intended parents of color have few options if they want children who look like themselves.
I believe one of the issues stems from women of color feeling skeptical about seeking advice about fertility issues. I’m aware that there is a lot of distrust and uncertainty among certain minority populations in regard to health institutions. That’s why it is so important for me to only deal with reputable agencies and medical facilities while being a donor. After being made aware of all of this, I decided that I could be apart of the change by being a donor. I decided to become an egg donor as a woman of color to be of service to minority populations.
