Let’s Talk about Working While Being a Surrogate
The decision to become a gestational surrogate can be rooted in many aspects that reflect your life. You can be a deeply caring person that wants to give an extraordinary gift to someone else, you could be thinking about your future with the compensation that you will earn, or both. No matter the reason that kicks off the journey, you have thought about what this opportunity can bring to you and the intended parents, but what can often be pushed out of thought, are the parts in the middle where you find the everyday mundane life stuff that often gives us a headache.
Which explains why we don’t want to think about it.
Those middle parts of life are different for everyone, but universally we all need income to survive. You may find yourself figuring out how to balance everything. Add in being a gestational surrogate, and finding that balance is going to look a bit different.
Realities
If you’re asking yourself if working and being a surrogate is possible, it definitely is and you wouldn’t be the only one. You could find an in-person or virtual community of surrogates that hold down full or part time jobs. First things first, with the potential income that you will receive from being a surrogate, why might you decide to continue to work or even start a new job?
Well, that answer can be as simple as a sense of fulfillment.
A lot of people find a sense of fulfillment from their career and do not want to give up that part of their identity, and find that identity can co-exist with their identity as a gestational surrogate. Alternatively, if your job doesn’t result in any contentment but it does give you perks that help make your life better, that’s a valid reason to keep it. There can be more reasons to why you would want to keep a job or go after a job while being a surrogate, but it's important to remember that the choice is yours, just be honest with yourself.
Those were some of the benefits, but in keeping with being honest, there are some challenges to working while being a surrogate which are very similar to other pregnant people that are carrying their children. Managing the physical, mental, and emotional effects that come when being pregnant. The choice of being a surrogate is noble and beautiful, but dealing with a changing body will bring about some limitations on how you navigate your life and everyday responsibilities, including the time at work.
Speaking of time, you will also have to be mindful of it more than usual because future medical appointments such as the embryo transfer could require time off work, so being both flexible and anticipating what time you will need off will be important.
Just remember, even with the benefits and challenges, you will not be the first to go through this journey, and that allows the possibility to ask for advice, information, or all of the above from an expansive community.
The Talk
The benefits and challenges are just one piece of the puzzle, and with any nuanced topic that we have to deal with in our lives, honesty should always be added into its designated slot. You have no doubt talked to your family, friends, and additional support network about being a gestational surrogate, but if you are working or getting ready to start a job, talking to your supervisor in a level of detail that is comfortable for you is necessary.
Let’s be real, we all have a line when it comes to letting our workplace or coworkers in on things in our personal life, but from the embryo transfer process to the leave that you will need to take for the delivery and the recovery, keeping your boss in the loop as soon as you can will go a long way, especially when it comes to handing off duties when you need to be away. However, before you go into that meeting make sure that you arm yourself with your company’s or organization’s maternity leave policy because knowledge is power, so stay woke.
Along with your supervisor, talking to your coworkers is something to take into consideration, even if the need is not at the same level as your boss. This is more to help navigate the “social structure” of the workspace, no matter how big or small, there is always a work community that can be sometimes fun or annoying as all ever. If you do decide to let them know, this could be a chance to give them some information about being a surrogate and hopefully avoid potentially awkward moments because people assume this is your baby. Once again, the level of detail you go into with them is up to you, if you even feel comfortable letting them know.
The Important Bits
However you choose to handle letting your job know about being a gestational surrogate, it is important to know all the facts about your workplace’s policy on maternity leave, along with the ins and outs of the protections from the Family and Medical Leave Act that gives entitled employees 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave for giving birth to a child. Even though this might seem like a lot to handle when you are already handling a lot, you are more than capable of doing so. Just make sure you approach this with honesty on what you need throughout the pregnancy, and lean on those support systems as you deal with the everyday life stuff.
