How to Discuss Infertility with your Children

Where do I start?

Talking to your child about infertility and third-party reproduction is necessary, but difficult.

Depending on the age of your child, they may have a million questions or they may not have any at all. Whatever questions they do have about infertility are best answered with honesty and clarity. The more direct you are, the more comfortable your child will feel coming to you in the future. Here are some common questions kids have about infertility and some honest, simple answers.

Six questions your child may ask

You’ll want to adjust your answers based on the age of your child. These answers are suitable for answering the infertility questions of 5- to 8-year-olds. The older your child is, the more detailed you may want your answers to be.

When am I going to have a baby brother/sister?

“I’m not sure right now.” or “We’re trying to give you a little brother/sister but it’s going to take a while.”

Are you sick?

“No, I’m not sick. I’m taking medicine to help me have a baby.”

Why are you getting shots?

“I’m getting shots to see if they can help me get pregnant.”

Do the shots hurt?

“A little bit but not that much.”

Why are you crying?

“I’m feeling sad that I don’t have a baby in my belly but I’m so happy that I have you.”

Do you have a baby in your belly?

“Not right now but when there is I’ll let you know.”

Be prepared to share

Don’t expect your children to keep your infertility to themselves. Kids, especially young ones, have a knack for blurting out sensitive information that we would want to be kept within the family.